Perusing classical music’s social media requires strength
Hattie Butterworth
People often remain dedicated to practice and performance because they like attention. Musicians have an unequivocal pull towards connection, with recognition being a large motivator for success.
Like many, I don’t like the person I am when I am on social media too much. I become nasty internally. I am jealous and make comparisons. My authentic desire for connection appears abandoned as I scoff at others doing things better or receiving more recognition than me.
Maybe it’s because it feels like a survival of the fittest, or most intellectually capable. Survival of those that have the greatest reflections on the latest injustice within the arts. Beyond this is those that are constantly up to date, in attendance and supportive. Those that remember to take pictures and to let people know that yes, they were there.
Why am I threatened by these people? Why have I been so irritated at musicians showcasing their latest success or award?
The internal let down is big when we see these successes. When someone succeeds, I feel I am being personally attacked by my ego for not achieving a similar status. I am a small child begging for attention and recognition within a profession that gives it rarely.
It gives it rarely because there aren’t the resources available. Acquiring success has to be such an internal acceptance and validation, because the likelihood of your succeeding is small. What can we post on twitter as those that don’t achieve much? Social media sets us up to feel this way.
How little might we know about people’s success if we didn’t engage so indefatigably? The intensity to which we witness material success of the privilege few paints us with an inevitable depression. We are the witnesses, the retweeters whilst chugging on.
I want to watch the success of others with a more joyful ambivalence. A warmth that holds no grudge or self-deprecation. Classical music’s elitism is within its separation between the hardcore academics and the rest, witnessed on social media as well as within the concert hall. It takes huge strength to watch, accept and create music regardless.