The regal ego massage?

By Hattie Butterworth

My opinion of the queen is one that has altered shape throughout my life. Growing up in the church means growing up with the queen- a focus on her importance and commitment to her faith. I suppose it’s not difficult to imagine how my opinion changed. I watched as the world crumbled post-labour and found it difficult to understand the role of a Royal Family within a time period of my father’s redundancy, recession, a departure from the church and austerity.

She dies and I have opinions and emotions. I am feeling things about people marking the occasion. This death has had an emotional impact on us, whether one of mourning, or frustration from the forced-mourning. We witness social posing and reminiscing of musicians that met her and feel they knew her in some way - even though the reality is that none of us did or could ever have.

Studying at a royal musical institution didn’t change much about my indifference. Her death has emboldened the regality of the institutions and reminded me that I am living in a music world dictated by the upper echelons of society. Speaking about how the queen didn’t represent me and my experience- that she didn’t comfort me, or mean very much to me, feels risky. She was a woman of dedication to the work she did, but I struggle to see the importance of a monarchy moving forward, and I don’t think I’m allowed to say that.

Is the classical music world subconsciously upheld by the regal connection? We study at the Royal College, Academy, Welsh, Scottish, Birmingham conservatoires. We perform at the Royal Festival Hall, Royal Albert Hall and are supported by the Royal Philharmonic Society and Royal Society of Musicians. We are surrounded by an industry entirely resting on a monarchist foundation. It is becoming clearer to me why I have felt like I don’t quite fit and why conversations around a fairer system are proving difficult.

I am feeling I have little in common with the famous musicians reminding me of their empire awards. Reminders of the times they shook hands with a woman I can’t feel much for. I’m sure it’s possible I would do the same if I had met her. Still, outpourings of grief for a woman of 96 with very little to do with the classical world have come across at times like a bit of an ego massage. We must mourn the queen, so Instagram is now an album of pictures with her to remind us of the weird royal connections, upholding the huge arts culture divide between those with status and ‘importance’, and those without.

Few performing arts have a connection with royalty as intense as the one portrayed by classical music. The forced-mourning has revealed in microcosm the difficulties of speaking out about injustice, as those without connection, photos and emotion are forced to stay silent.