The most important books I’ve read

By Hattie Butterworth

People (and my dog Barley) will always be the reason I can survive through my mental illness, however there are some books that continue to inspire, uplift and educate me about my illness experiences

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When I’ve been in the middle of a desperate time of illness, there’s little I’ve been able to do. In stronger moments, the first thing I felt able to do was to read about suffering, my illness and others that have overcome similar trials with mental illness. In times of health, reading feels like something I struggle to ‘want’ to do. However, in darker times, it’s been one of the real saving graces. There are some books that have stayed with me, that I frequently think about and go back to.

It is worth disclaiming that I’m sharing books that helped me through my illnesses, OCD, anxiety, depression, as well as dealing with self harm and disordered eating as maladaptive coping mechanisms. These books aided me in my experience, and I hope they may be able to speak to you too as I share my journey with each of them. Books must never be a replacement to clinical help, and if you are in a period of suffering, please do reach out and see our resources pages for further advice in where to find help.

I will share a link to each book through an independent bookseller! I’d love to hear about books that have helped you- do comment below or get in touch!

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Calm: Calm The Mind, Change The World

• Michael Acton Smith

I remember reading this in the middle of a really difficult summer. It had the most beautiful, calming pictures and helped me to believe that there was a beautiful world in existence. Even though it felt a million miles away, this book helped me to feel grounded and hopeful again

Eternal Echoes

• John O’Donohue

This book holds a really special place in my heart. I read it during a period of intense depression and I’ll never forget the power it had. John described darkness and depression in such an accurate, real and human way. He uses natural imagery to provide metaphors for our most intense pain, emotion and illness.

Pure

• Rose Cartwright

I read this book in one sitting, it was THAT important that I received its amazing message. It’s an autobiography of Rose’s Pure O OCD. Rose’s suffering was huge, terrifying and helped me to feel justified in how disabling my OCD was at the time. It has also been made into an awesome Netflix tv series, also called ‘Pure’

Self-Help for Your Nerves

• Claire Weekes

I found this book in the tiny library in Bettyhill on the north of Scotland during a breakdown I suffered at the end of my first year of RCM. when I was 19. Although published in 1962, this book makes no mistake in speaking directly to the sufferer with kindness, care and hope. She acknowledges the deep, arresting emotional pain of breakdown and was one of the first books truly to help me put myself back together.

The Time In Between: A memoir of hunger and hope

• Nancy Tucker

This is easily one of the most gripping books I’ve ever read. The writing is fascinating, taking the reader into the dark and twisted world of anorexia and the hold it can have over someone’s life. I found it terrifying, fascinating and a really important read.

The Places That Scare You

• Pema Chödrön

This book was recommended to me by a therapist when I was suffering from extreme anxiety. It helped me to find power in my experience and to see every day as an opportunity to grow and heal. It has been a book I’ve returned to multiple times, helping me to remain tuned in and aware of when anxiety is becoming a problem for me again.

A New Earth

• Eckhart Tolle

I want to share this book because it was an extremely healing journey in reading it, though I may not fully support its content now. Tolle takes us through a journey of ego and the ways in which the ego alters our experience of the world. Elements of this book have really stayed with me, though I have suffered mental illness since and found its advice to be overly simplistic. It may add to people’s shame in taking medication for mental illness if taken out of context. Still, I owe a lot to this book and what it has taught me about myself.

The Gifts of Imperfection

• Brene Brown

Brene has been my soul sister for a good few years now and her TED talks helped me to realise that vulnerability is a worldwide experience. Even though my suffering was deep and current, I was not alone in it. This book helps to change you perception of yourself- a really amazing one for rethinking the more toxic elements of classical music.